GOSH! im so emo la. was listening to sad songs. dammit. i should stop all this nonsense and go to bed. haha no no. i going to read my jodi picoult bk! but seriously. the previous posts. really depicts hw i really feel inside me. dammit.

"Graduation (Friends Forever)"
And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day
Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of that night in June
I didn't know much of love
But it came too soon
And there was me and you
And then we got real blue
Stay at home talking on the telephone
We would get so excited and we'd get so scared
Laughing at ourselves thinking life's not fair
And this is how it feels

As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
Come
Whatever
We will still be
Friends Forever

So if we get the big jobs
And we make the big money
When we look back now
Will our jokes still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?
I keep,
I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
And this is how it feels

As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
Come
Whatever
We will still be
Friends Forever

Will we think about tomorrow
like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?
Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round?
Will these memories fade when
I leave this town
I keep,
I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly

As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
Come
Whatever
We will still be
Friends Forever

hmm. this is exactly how i feel now. now that everyone have their own life to handle. made new friends and in a new environment. lots of things happened. now i wonder. will all my friends still keep in contact with me? yea some will still keep in contact. but like wad in the song said. if we still keep in contact. will our jokes still be funny? will we feel akward? i hope not, seriously. i missed my secondary life. i hope time stops nw. cos i dont want to lose all of them. :(:(:(:(

"When You're Gone"
I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side
When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now
[Chorus]
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do
When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

[Chorus]

We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were, yeah
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do,
I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe
I need to feel you here with me, yeah

[Chorus]

go hear it. its nice. it depicts how i really feel. hmm. i doubt u will read it. even if you read it. dont tink you will know how i feel. :(.

woola. today was tiring. went for starbucks class. haha knew alot of new friends. but i guessed they might tink im a freak cos when everyone entered the class, i was like 'HELLO! :D'. then i turned to them, i was like 'sorry ah, i nervous that why i act like that.' then they just laughed. :s. and today i made a fool of myself in front of them. i asked this girl (erm, i forgot her name?) oh i rem alr! its nadia. anyway, i asked her why she stayed. and she told me clementi. then i asked her 'clementi near tampines right?' then she told me 'hougang near jurong rite?' ok... sorry la. i dont study the map rite? hahaha then frm then on, she kept using that against me. dammit. felt so silly. but yea. thats me. the silly one. :D. tried many drinks today made by the people frm other class. RASPBERRY CUPPU IS NICE! haha did smth silly again. i drink the cuppu, then i tilted the cup abit. nothing comes out. i was like, 'ok...' then i tried again, so i tilted even higher, and nothing still comes out. :(. then finally i tilted like damn high. and guess wad. i burnt my tongue. yea i know, i burnt it. and in the end, i cannot do coffee tasting. cos i cannot feel anything. gosh, candice you are so dumb. today, babi was nice. he came and fetch me home. went to eat satay! yeah like finally! been craving it for days man. but not say very fantastic la. but the company was good. :D had fun on the bus. was talking on the bus wif babi abt his ex-gfs. haha weird huh. i like to listen to all his gfs story. like wad happened all. erm, yea i know its weird. hmmm, dont know y. i tink through this kind of conversation, i feel closer to him. cos like i know more abt him. hmm, weird thinking of mine. but u see, babi tells me lil abt his life. he says he dont like to talk abt the past. dammit. but i like to hear it! :(. ok so we kinda of had a fight. yea i know again. but it not my fault k! he was like 'babi, u follow me to my hse. i giv u $ to take a cab hm cos i tink the last bus 55 no more alr.' then u know me, the stubborn one. i was like ' no need la. sure have one. now its only 1145.' then he say 'ok nvm. u call ur dad nw k? ask him cm to fetch him. incase the bus no more alr.' then i was like 'nvm la. i reach alr then i call lor. wad if still got bus? i dont wan my daddy to cm for nth ar.' then he angry and gt off the bus. erm, dont worry. it was his stop. but he went down like quite pissed. yup. that was it. sad huh. the worst thing is that my mp3 no more batt alr. so cant like help me cool dwn. later called sam. kind of like, made me cool down. hmm, thanks sam. (bt i doubt u will even see tis.) l. when i gt to the interchange. the last bus go alr. dammit. babi was rite and i hate it. if i tell him he was rite. he sure bang me back. called daddy to ask him pick me up. ( gosh daddy. ya my saviour. but again, i doubt u will see tis.) anyway, was talking wif sam and guessed who called? yea babi. dammit. i dont want pick up the fone cos he sure ask me so did i manage to catch the bus. hmm. but sam asked me to pick up. then i tell him why i dont wan. then she taught me to lie. she was like ' jus tell him u very tired then dont feel like taking a bus hm. so u called ur dad' then i was like ' eh sam! damn gd ar. hold on. i pick up his call.' then i picked up. talked talked. babi went to bed. went bac to sam conversation. she was like ' so how?' then i told her ' i told him the truth.' then she said ' u damn loser la. u like okok sam! then nw u tell me u told him the truth.' hmm. idiot. how can sam call me a loser?! idiot. went home. ate 4 sambal prawns! yum yum. then talked to sam for a while. was telling sam that i wan to be adopt a rabbit or help out at spca, but mus see my work schedule how. then she told me bel also was talking being a volunteer at spca. haha. kind hearted people around! called bel later. FINALLY. TODAY WE HAD A PROPER CONFERENCE. nv fight nv argue. erm actually have la. i was being a bitch. i hung up on them. i dont know y. mayb i jus dont like her talking abt her friends. especially her mi tang. dont know why. hmm. mayb its time to get over the fact that the sam nw is not the sam i knew in the past. hmm, candice. she had moved on. so u must. hmm. then we talked abt the shampoo 'asian'. she was like so goshed out that i and her cousin also using that shampoo. then i cannot stand it alr. i told her ' sam, asian is not only produced cos of sheena and ur mi tang.' i dont know wad was wrong wif me. mayb cos its like, i dont know how to explain. mayb im pmsing. but, my period jus ended. erm, post period or smth? dont know la. today thought of the qns that bel asked me. 'are u goin to baptise xavier?' hmm. i decided. not to baptise him nw. like let him choose his own faith. i mean if he likes being for example, a catholic or buddish(pardon me if i spelled it wrongly.), then i will then do all the neccesary arrangement. :D hmm. guessed that is all i have to say today. nites my loved ones. gt class tmr. hmm, nervous again! haha dont know why. hmm, i wonder will robin come fetch me hm tmr?

hmm. today was quite fun. actually ok la.
went to meet bel for 5mins. haha she kept complaining. sorry la woman. i didnt know i will go so fast. haha but in the end. tanjong pagar was only one stop after raffles city. hahaha. went to yishun lib to borrow bks. kena cheated man. i at hm i check got 3 jodi picoult bks not on loan. den i so nice go all the way down to borrow. then u know wad?!?! two bks i tink pple borrow alr. cos i saw two spaces. :(:(. nvm. bel said she will lent me one bk. CANT WAIT TO FINISH READING! i wan cry(her bks makes me cry.i know if bel sees this she will be thinking, 'haha loser'. eh but her bks are damn nice!)! haha. ok... im a crazy woman. then later i so NICE, i walked bel hm k. hahahahahahahahaha. then took bus and mrt to meet my shift manager at tanjong pagar.
at the class, felt very nervous cos will be meeting alot of new pple. so yea. but they are all friendly pple la. accept for this guy. he like cool cool kind. then like got this dont talk to me look. then u know wad?!?! i partnered with him for this activity. i was like, GOD! but he not that bad like. he nv bully me. haha later james, my district manager, treated us to KFC for dinner. haha ate one crispy chicken and one LARGE whipped potato! haha i finished the whole tin la. haha. and u know wad?!?! the history happen again!this time, my whipped potato got snatched again! i was eating happily, then later i saw james scooping whipped potato onto his plate. i was like.. ok.. i used that spoon and i put it into my mouth then now the whipped potato like got my saliva all. hmm, i guess SB likes to share things. good i like. :D:D:D
end class ard 9.15. took bus 57 then 55. on the bus read the jodi picoult bk. got major headache! feel like vomitting! but i clever. i control :D:D i dont like to vomit. :D when i reached bishan interchange, went to SR to find sam. but she nv work today. hmm, sad. thought can see her. nvm. then took bus 55. this time i nv read on the bus. :D then all of the sudden, i miss robin. dont know why. but yeap, missed him. jus feel like hugging him. dont feel like talking. jus wan to hug him until sunrise. haha but yea rite. i can slowly dream for it to happen.
went hm. bathed. eat NONYA BA CHANG! my fav! my ahma make one. not very nice. but i still love it! got my ahma taste, erm sounds abit gross. watched america's nxt top model. and CARIDEE WON! yeah! i dont like melrose. actually, she is ok la. but i prefer caridee. i tink she looks more like a model. i tink the name caridee is damn cool. IF i have a daughter, i will name her. CARIDEE. :D:D
smth weird happened. i went online and cherwyn said hi to me. i was like.. ok.. he like nv nv nv chat wif me b4. today is like his first time. so i chat wif him. and he had to go downstair.
chatted with bel and sam. kind of had 'show off ur icons' time. haha then gt tis icon, sam says looks like xavier. ok. kind of look like him la. but xavier real life is cuter. :D
okok i better stop blogging and go chat with my two idiotic friends. SAM and BEL. i know they idiotic. but istilllovethem. :D
cant anymore. prince xav wake k alr. need to cater to his needs alr. -_-''

NIGHTS!

back from robin's hs. bought xavier there. kept crying and crying. hmm, robin's mum said that he wasnt familiar with the environment. then babi suggested to bring him out every weekend. hmm, yea will do that if i dont have work. :). finally decided to bring xavier back to my auntie's hs. he stopped crying. weird huh. and he never been to my auntie's hs before. but i guess cos got familiar faces there so he was ok. he started playing with my cousin and all. and finally, we're back in hougang. what a day.
back home. anna 'mopped' him and now he's aslp. supposed to go out with babi. was kind of waiting for him cos when i ok everytin, i saw him watching tv so i like decided to wait for me. then i also watched the tv. was funny. watched some variety show and mean girls. mean girls was nice. :D i guessed i saw until too engrossed and forgot that we're going out. (see told u i was forgetful alr.) later babi said he's going home. was kind of sad. but i know cos he gt duty tmr, so cant stay. :(. i guessed babi was kind of pissed off with me cos we kind of fought. but i really forgot that we're going out. cos as i said. i was too engrossed to the show. and u cannot remind me izzit? hai. cannot blame u. not really your fault. im sorry, i really forgot. but i doubt u will ever see tis.

p.s. i tink i seriously need to find a brain surgeon. i suspect i got the the old age tingy. scary. but good la. i can forget all the bad things. but CANNOT! wad if i forgot how to make the coffees at STARBUCKS? hai.

HOOORAAYYYY!!
my sister is back at last.
gonna slp.
yea right.
gonna play games!
:D:D

YEAH!!!!
manage to wake babi up.
BUT.
HE WENT BACK TO SLP AGAIN.

GOD SERIOUSLY!
IMMM BBOOOOOOORRRRREEEEEEEDDDDDDDDD!
BABI is still slping.
WAKE UP WAKE UP!
PLAY WITH ME.
maybe i should try waking xavier up.
WAHAHA!
then he can play with me.
:D:D

im boreeddd.
i love robin.
he loves me.
cos im fat and short.
just nice to be his bolster.
:D

forgot one thing. sam damn serious now. dont like. she msged me abt robin finding for me. i was like 'sam! ya back?!?!?!' then she was like 'yea jus reached the bus (or sg? aiya i forgt again.). wished i got go bac again.' then i said ' go back dont come back'. then she neva reply. :(((. once i just playing with her. i was like 'eh you call for wad?' then she said 'ok bye bye.' and she hang up. i was shocked la. in the past sam will be like 'eh why cannot.' she will play along. but now, she wont play along with me. she changed aft the fight i had with her. i regretted it. all because of one BITCH. i hate her EVEN MORE now. SERIOUSLY. i want my old sam back. :(:(:(:(. but i doubt she will come back. anyway i guess she is happier nw. got her SR friends and her mi tang. nvm, i jus leave her alone. feel so distant to her new. even conferencing with her now is nt fun anymore. sometimes it can cause tension with me and her. i hate the new sam. i lost the old sam. :(:(:(:(:(:(:(. i doubt she will read this. anyway. i really miss the old sam. GIVE ME BACK MY SAM!

ALOHA! today was fun fun fun! went to work. starbucks was alrite, i thought it will be scary! but, the manager was ok, people was ok. i tink if i know them longer, i will love them. but dont know why, i feel childish ard them. and got this malay guy(whom i forgot his name, even though he told me his name MANY times.) , he stole my chocolate muffin!btw, starbucks chocolate muffin is quite nice! GO GET IT FROM STARBUCKS AT PS! :D:D i was in the room when he came in and say 'eh guve me abit of muffin leh' and then he jus took it with the fork im using! i was like...ok...and i offer him my coffee. and he said 'wow, everytime eat muffin, i eat until i sian.'...ZZZ...not only that, he told i was underage and he asked the manager, 'eh chailing, u hire underage girl ar?' i was like...ok... THEN he asked me which sch i was frm, and i said IJ. and he said, 'IJ girls are crazy.' then i siad, 'u neighbour or boys' sch' then he said, 'neighbourhood' and i was like ' knew it.' and he said, 'bastard' or basket? forgot. tink i need to scan my brain alr. i nowadays forget things very fast. once i was talking to sam on the fone, and i hang up just like tt. and when she called back, i was shocked like why my fone will ring, i thought i was on the fone with sam then how come the fone will ring. when i saw it 'DAR! HSE CALLING' i was like...HUH?!?! hmm... tink i better bk an appt for brain surgery soon.
After work, i went to meet sheena. wow I TELL U, she takes DAMN LONG to reach town. 2HRS30MINS!!! like ok, i leave in hougang and i take abt 1hr plus to reach town. i tell u, i want to kill myself. she late alr, she still can take her time all. i told her i was at the 4th flr at heeren. she still can go to the 3rd flr and look at me. btw i was at the round round tin. i was like, wow. u good man. i learnt my lesson. if im gonna ask her out, i will ask her out one month in advance. but bel told me. 'she will probably forget abt it.' TRUE. after that, we went to the youth park. saw sheena's friends. said HELLO. actually no la, i just waved. :) and listen to some band performing. not nice la. waste my time. stayed there for 1 hr? den we decided to go to bugis. saw bus 36. sheena and i ran aft the bus, but sheena was in front of me, but she did not succeed in catching that bus. i guessed she ran too slow. HA! we talked talked talked then ltr gt this china woman( not being country-ist here. im a chinese and i like dumpling and peking duck. :D) she asked where is lavender. i told her 'erm by the time u walked there, the make passport place will close.' sheena told her 'its very far.' but she said. 'can tell me which direction'. then i tink sheena anyhow direct direct (poor china woman) and she said 'thank you' with her china accent. we continue to talked. and i bought a BAG! saw one very nice. LOVE IT! BUT, my poly friend ms wendy ong have alr. wow, sian. cannot buy. but SHEENA GOT IT! bitch. haha kidding anyway she looked nice carrying that bag. :D back to me. yea i gt the bag for 28bucks. exp i tell u. but i still buy la. haha. i know if bel or monkey sees me carrying it, they will say so auntie or not nice. haha but i like ar! one word to describe it. NICE NICE NICCEE! sheena tried her bargaining skills again (as usual), she wanted the auntie to sell her 24 but the auntie say nono. 26bucks. haha. failed. but cannot blame la. the bag costed 30plus, the auntie gave us discount to 28 and then finally to 26. the auntie was also frm china. hai, another china victim of sheena. poor women. after that went to sheena's dad lan shop. quite crowded. mother kind of gt mad at sheena for buying the bag. and her dad's goldfishes are DAMN CUTE! fat fat one. reminds me of xavier! HA! so mean. anyway played audition with na. and i suck at this game. kept missing. not long, sheena have to go. and i stayed a while longer. costed me 1.37bucks but sheena's dad paid for me and robin alr. so it was FREE GAMING for us. went home. changed. wentdown to eat fishball noodle. no satay AGAIN! being craving for it since mon. :(((. received a call frm my sister. asked me to open the door for her cos she lost the hse key. -_-'' i damn tired la! still must wait for her.ZZZ... anyway im a kind sister should wake for her. robin slping now. should go and disturb him! dammit. still got 2 hrs more before my sister comes back. i want to cry alr la. nvm nvm. i love her. okok. enough enough. tink i type long enough alr. hehe. i go nw! gonna bring xavier out tmr! YEAH!! :D:D

:D

hello. im at bel's hse. fairygodmother tycoon is not fun at all. dont understand why bel likes it so much.