sheena and i are officially not talking. its something that happened between us. dont wish to elaborate. hmm, its kind of sad. afterall, we were close one and i really hope we can be last time. this is the reason why i look her up in the first place. the day when we were to ikea, we brought a bangle. haha we were so foolish. we called it the friendship bangle, and we must wear it everyday. haha so kids ar. and and being me so childish, i really believed that she will wear it everyday. and i did. ok i didnt wear it almost everyday. but i will wear it like, 5 or 6days in a week? i dont know abt her. when i saw her on fri, she wasnt wearing. hmm. then babi is at a chalet with his friends. hmm, this is when i thought about my life. haha which, i ALWAYS do. i realised i was very foolish. for eg, the friendship bangle. i really treasure the bangle. and other things. like in my heart, i always treated her as someone very close and special to me. even though i didnt side with her during sam thing. but at that time, i really think that she went too far. but now thinking abt it, i guess she had her own difficulties. i dont wish to talk abt this anymore in case i spark off any more quarrels. i guess i was really shocked by what she said yst. haha i wanted to cry in the train. so decided to called agnes. haha, she wasnt very helpful. she was like, huh very sad leh. haha i was thinking, erm, thanks for pointing that out. but i guess i kind of deserve that cold treatment from sheena. hmm, i will get over it. like her, she told me to swallow everything down and breathe. then later agnes asked me why robin. i told her chalet. then she was like, and he didnt bring you go? haha i was like, erm thanks again. haha. she didnt mean to hurt me deliberately. in the past, i always have this thinking. once i confronted him and asked him why he didnt bring me to any of his friend's chalet or when he meet up with them, why he didnt bring me go. i guess, he was kind of ashamed of me. after all, im not say very pretty and to make matter worse, im dont have a good figure. even now if you asked me to meet some of my guy friends whom i haven meet up for a long time, i will feel embarrassed to meet them. recently, joel asked me out. i tell you, even though i rejected him many times, he still continue to ask me. haha but now, he stop alr. haha thank god. felt really bad to reject him so many times. as i was saying, robin didnt bring me out to meet up with friends. not long after i confronted him, his friend organised one chalet. but still, he didnt asked. i was like, why you didnt ask me to go. then he said, oh ok. so do you want to go? then i tried to act cool, i said dont want. and he said, ok. i was like, OMG OMG OMG. and i had to tell him this, why you never persuade me to go? then he did. hai. but in the end, i didnt go. think the chalet got cancelled or something. nw this chalet, he didnt ask me at all. hmm. seriously, im really tired of all this. i tired of asking him to do this and do that. i been doing that for 4yrs. i always tell him stop telling him what to do. but you know its like, its very irritating! if you dont let him know, he will hurt you. but if you tel him, he will think you are nagging. even though babi had hurt me many times, but i still falling deeper and deeper into love pit. omg. sucks man.

bottomline: im silly to treasure people who dont treasure you.

one thing i dont understand. why do my life sucks this much. i know i very bitchy. but there's other people out there who is ten times bitcher! and their life is better than mine. omg.

seriously, why?