For robin,

sucks man.
want to do something with love one also cannot. EG, swimming or just simple thing- SLACKING.
everyone is like so busy. for eg, yst i wanted to ask someone ask for a swim. I TELL YOU, i have to msg dont know how many people and ask them go to with me. i have to beg them! and final result?? all rejected me. omg omg. why dont i have friends who can do the same things together with me? the funny thing is, when i work, SO MANY PEOPLE WILL ASK ME OUT. i have to reject them is cos i GOT WORK WHAT. NOT SAY I DID IT ON PURPOSE.

IM DIFF FRM YOU ALL OK?? I HAVE A FAMILY TO SUPPORT. I HAVE TO HELP MY MUM FINANCIALLY OK? IM DIFF FROM YOU ALL.

screw it, im going to start working.

argh, even robin also cannot acc me. SUCKS MAN!!

tried playing audition with ms stef.
BOTTOMLINE?
i really suck at playing this kind of finger games. cos i admit,

i got retarded fingers which move and act so slow..


AND,
IM STILL THINKING ABT THAT FLYING COCKROACH..

ok..
so i was being a really hardworking girl,
trying to concentrate on my studying for my stupid supp paper which i have so much confidence that i will at least pass (let's not talk abt it..),
then came this big huge disgusting brownish and really can fly,
flying cockroach.
and i wasnt wearing my very nice looking specs,
i thought i was seeing things (ha, it was so big can!) and i tried to strain my eyes to get a better look.
just as i was going to take out my specs,
the huge scary frightening brownish and disgusting cockroach fly towards me.
and i tell you,
i run away so fast, i think i can join the Olympics (haha kidddiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnngggg...)
anyway, so i decided to call my sister and hoping that she will be so nice to help me kill the cockroach,
she chose to ignore my call of helps (cool uh, my usage of words.)
and i decided to wake my maid up and ask her to kill it.
the way she kill,
looks like she have been killing cockroach EVERYDAY.
she was so calm and steady, that i admire.
BUT NO! i will not learn from her.
im just to DISGUSTED by the SIZE, COLOUR and APPEARANCE.
basically,
the stupid cockroach have caused this phobia in me, that causing me to switch on the lights, EVEN WHEN I DONT NEED. ( I HATE TO WASTE ELECTRICITY, TRUST ME, YOU CAN ASK MY SISTER.)
AND AND, im going to close my room door whenever i go to sleep now. (WHICH ALSO, I HATE TO DO IT CAUSE THE ROOM WILL BE SO STUFFY, HOW TO SLEEP!!!!!!!!!! argh..)

stupid cockroach...

sucks man.
got back my results alr. omg i failed aimm. haha and i thought of burning my notes after exams. omg omg. haha i was so positive that i will not get any supp paper. but well, i was wrong. as usual..
didnt tell mummy abt this. because she alr have this thinking, we are not cut out for studying. but i must prove it to her that her thinking is wrong. that is why i want to go to uni so much. and also, i dont want to stop studying. i would rather study for my whole life than work.

but you see my gpa is only 1.76. haha and bbong titan still tell me got hope to increase, if my nxt sem i get all Bs or As. haha!!! so in another words, i dont have hope for uni. haha that day i called mr zhang to ask him abt should i retake the whole module or the supp paper. he advised me to take supp paper cos it would be better to clear all the modules now. then later i told him abt my gpa and how much i want to go to uni. haha but he didnt say any thing like, ' dont worry candice, there's one more chance to pull up your gpa and go to uni.' last sem, yes he did say that, but this sem, he didnt. he just smiled.

hmm, i guess it all too late...

im in sch now.
eeee..
the keyboard so oily.
omg.

ARGH. one thing abt blogger is that you have to keep signing in.

anyway,
i got sch tmr. and,
IM STILL NOT SLEEPING.
WHY??

bought monster out two days straight. haha cant believe it. but i must say, he wasnt that naughty. good good. today on the ride home from VIVO which is so damn far from toa payoh, monster was sleeping. PHEW... haha i gave him the water and then he fell asleep. WOO, water makes miracles. anyway,

XAV IS SO CUTE. thats what others says. :)

ok i should play my game alr.
sucks man, now no nice games.

:(:(:(:(:(

i finally managed to tell him. i told him its up to him, to break or to come find me when i meant something to him. i will respect his decision. even though i alr sent him the msg, im regretting now. im so afraid of the truth, when now, i know what is the outcome. i know the truth. i know what is he going to be.

sometimes, the truth just hurts.

singlehood, here i come.
it isnt that bad huh.. at least now i will get to spend time with my friends, going to weekend church with bel and monkey. but they are both have the other one. how i envy them, to have found someone who treats them like diamonds. better than me, getting treated like dirt and still holding on. my mother must be very disappointed to know that she has such a useless and stupid daughter.

oh wells, i just have to learn to stand up.

i need help, seriously.

just two pathetic missed calls from him. and no msgs.
unlike in the past, he will keep calling me nonstop and msg me till i decided to pick up his calls,
wth.
not say you dont have my house num and my house keys.
thanks for showing me how impt im to you.

i wished i met with an accident,
but come to think of it,
WILL YOU CARE??

no wonder they say, LOVE IS BLIND. asshole.

to think i even wanted to go to his house this morning to apologise,
to think i even wanted to give in to him by trying to understand whatever that happened.
trying to think that it was all my fault, i wasnt understanding enough, i wasnt good enough.
im so foolish.
candice candice,
you make me laugh... ... ... ... ...

im so digusted by myself.

:' (:'(:'(

im tired. really tired. but why cant i just let go..
talked to him abt us, he said he was tired of himself.
huh?? so??
does he know im suffering in silence.
i even have to beg for his love.

let go...
let go...

he doesnt love you anymore.
he not the robin you loved...

:'(:'(:'(